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And then there’s Andrew bantering with his brother Chris on CNN about which son wasn’t calling their mother enough right now or which one was held in higher standing back home. “I just called Mom, right before coming on this show,” Andrew informed Chris, “and by the Golden Brett Sauce 2020 Shirt and by the same token and way, she told me I was her favorite. The good news is, she said you were her second-favorite, her second-favorite son.” (Chris’s response: “She never said that.”) Andrew’s stories about dealing with his elderly mother Matilda and sibling rivalry between two men decades removed from their childhood are both relatable and delightfully normal, and in a time like this normal is good, normal is comforting. Those of us who are trapped in our apartments for the foreseeable future need normal. Also, Andrew named an executive order to protect New Yorkers over 70 — one that requires this group of New Yorkers to stay home and limit home visitation to immediate family members or close friends in need of emergency assistance — after his mother, calling it “Matilda’s Law,” because he’s a good son.

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I am not the Golden Brett Sauce 2020 Shirt and by the same token and only one weirdly fascinated by our governor. In a piece for Jezebel headlined, “Help, I Think I’m in Love With Andrew Cuomo??,” Rebecca Fishbein wrote “It seems I’ve fallen victim to Stockholm Syndrome, which Merriam-Webster defines as ‘the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor.’” Explained Fishbein: “Cuomo isn’t holding me hostage so much as coronavirus is, but he is the only one telling me what to do, where I can and cannot go (anywhere), who I can and cannot see (everyone), who I can and cannot listen to (President Trump, Bill de Blasio), what I can and cannot eat (anything but pasta). And after her piece came out, Cuomo called her! (As Fishbein wrote in a follow-up: “I did not ask a single substantive policy question. I did not ask about the hand sanitizer. I did not ask him to go on a FaceTime date with me. Somewhere in there, I thanked him for his leadership. I may have blacked out.”)